Committee on Ways and Means, Subcommittee on Human Resources, 4-11-02 Testimony

Statement of Mary-Louise Kurey, National Speaker, Author, and Spokeswoman,
Project Reality, Golf, Illinois

Testimony Before the Subcommittee on Human Resources
of the House Committee on Ways and Means

Hearing on Welfare Reform Reauthorization Proposals

April 11, 2002

Chairman Herger, Congressman Cardin, and Members of the Subcommittee on Human Resources of the House Committee on Ways and Means:

Thank you for the opportunity to testify before you today on the reauthorization of welfare reform, specifically as it relates to Title V funding for abstinence programs. It has been my privilege to speak with more than 125,000 teens and young adults across the United States about postponing sexual activity until marriage and “making a new beginning” for those who have been sexually active. From African-American students in the Washington, D.C. public schools to Native-American teens in Pine Ridge, South Dakota; from Hmong adolescents in the Milwaukee Public Schools to Caucasian and Hispanic teens at a youth rally in Little Rock, Arkansas, I’ve been honored to address young people from a wide variety of socioeconomic, religious, and ethnic backgrounds, from diverse family and cultural experiences.

I have also spoken about this issue on many TV and radio programs, including “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher,” “Sally Jessy Raphael” and “Life on the Rock.” My newly-published book for teens is Standing With Courage: Confronting Tough Decisions about Sex.

I serve as a spokeswoman for Project Reality, an abstinence education organization serving public schools nationally, with an emphasis in Chicago and the State of Illinois. Project Reality recently launched its new curriculum Game Plan featuring former NBA athlete A.C. Green. I have also worked with many other abstinence organizations across the county, bringing this message of hope and encouragement to youth in 19 states and the District of Columbia.

Every day, I battle on the front lines of the war against teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, the emotional and psychological trauma that stem from teen sexual activity, and the feelings of hopelessness and indifference that pervade the lives of so many of America’s youth.

Abstinence Education Works

Abstinence education works, and is a crucial component of achieving the goals of the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) block grant in the 1996 Welfare Reform Act. In particular, abstinence is the only 100% effective way to prevent out-of-wedlock pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and the other negative individual and societal consequences that arise from premarital sex. Adolescents who are emotionally as well as physically healthy are far more able to function as they mature and to benefit from employment opportunities at every level. Undoubtedly, they are also able to benefit far more from the education process, whether it would be at the secondary or college level.

Abstinence education provides teenagers and others with critical information and encouragement that helps them to wait for marriage. The reauthorization of the funding for abstinence programs in the 1996 Welfare Reform Act will be instrumental in furthering these educational efforts. This will help make a real difference in the lives of individual American teenagers today. Long-term, the continued adoption of abstinence until marriage will be a core element that benefits society by supporting and encouraging the formation and maintenance of healthy two-parent families.

The New Sexual Revolution

In spite of the sex-saturated culture we live in today, studies show most teens in the United States are choosing abstinence. When I was in high school, most American teens were sexually active. Today, the reverse is true.

The majority of high school students are virgins, and this percentage is increasing. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (1998). Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance-United States, 1997. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, 47(SS-3).

Among teens who have been sexually active, many have chosen to embrace a “secondary virginity” and refrain from subsequent sexual activity:

Of teens who are sexually experienced – have had intercourse at least one time – approximately 25% are currently abstinent (which means they've had no sexual involvement within the prior three months). Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (1998). Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance-United States, 1997. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, 47(SS-3).

Perhaps most telling is that American teens today want to hear that they are “worth waiting for”:

93% of teens feel that teens should be given a strong message that abstinence is the best choice. National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. The Cautious Generation? Teens Tell Us about Sex, Virginity and “The Talk.” April 27, 2000

During my presentations, I have seen young men spontaneously stand up in front of hundreds of their classmates and yell, “Virgin and proud!” I’ve seen young women say to their peers, “I’ve done things that I regret, but today I’m making a new beginning.”

A New Sexual Revolution is sweeping the country. The abstinence movement is not being led by adults, but by young people. They are searching for truth and meaning in all aspects of their lives, including relationships and sexuality.

Abstinence, Marriage and Welfare

Teens who choose abstinence until marriage understand that this isn’t about saying no to sex. Abstinence is not a “Just say no” message. It’s about teens saying “YES”: “Yes” to their future, “yes” to their dreams, “yes” to making a difference in the world, “yes” to becoming the best people they can be, and “yes” to a joyful, lasting marriage.

The divorce rate in the U.S. today is approximately 50%. But studies show that the divorce rate is significantly less for marriages between two virgins as well as among marriages between secondary virgins – individuals who were initially sexually-active with others but practiced abstinence until marriage with the person who ultimately became their spouse.

Abstinence builds a firm foundation for a successful marriage. It is a critical ingredient for increasing the number of happy families in America, and reducing the number of women and children living on welfare.

The Promise of One

My grandfather used to say, “Every child is born into the world with a message – a light – clutched in his hand. But if that child is lost, then that message, that light, is lost to the world forever.”

I firmly believe that every teen and young adult has something special to bring to the world. But too often in our society, young people are prevented from fulfilling their potential by the serious consequences of teen sexual activity. I’ve witnessed first-hand in the lives of close friends the devastating and permanent consequences of premarital sex.

Their experiences reflect the “silent suffering” of my generation:

Most teens who have been sexually-active regret that choice. National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Not Just Another Thing to Do: Teens Talk about Sex, Regret, and the Influence of their Parents. June 30, 2000.

1 out of 5 sexually-active teen girls in the U.S. gets pregnant. Alan Guttmacher Institute. Teenage Pregnancy: Overall Trends and State-by-State Information, 1999.

3 million teens contract a sexually transmitted disease in the U.S. each year. American Social Health Association. Sexually Transmitted Disease in America: How Many Cases and at What Cost? Menlo Park, Calif.: Kaiser Family Foundation; 1998.

1 out of 4 sexually-active American teens has – or will contract – an STD. Alan Guttmacher Institute. Sex and America’s Teenagers, 1994.

“Safe” Sex: Pregnancy and Disease

In 7^th grade, I attended a public school rampant with drinking, drug use and sexual activity. My locker was next to the locker of a student who sold cocaine. I experienced tremendous peer pressure to use drugs, drink, and become sexually active.

That year, I made the commitment to not use drugs, drink underage, smoke, or have sex outside of marriage. And today, I am grateful to be able to tell you that I have stayed true to each one of those commitments, while enjoying a healthy and fulfilling life – including an active social life. I’m 27 years old, a former Miss Wisconsin, and a virgin. Choosing abstinence until marriage is the best choice I’ve ever made, and continue to make, in my life.

The tremendous benefits I have received from abstinence go far beyond avoiding negative consequences. I’ve gained courage, self-respect, integrity, personal strength, character, and a happy and active dating life. This choice is the essence of who I am, and its rewards far outweigh its sacrifices.

But I wasn’t always so outspoken about the benefits of abstinence. In high school, many of my friends were sexually active, but I felt that this was none of my business. “Who am I to tell them what to do?” I thought.

Then at age 15, one of my friends got pregnant while engaging in so-called “safe” sex with her boyfriend. No one had told us the medical facts that had been published in the New England Journal of Medicine that year:

14-17% of couples who use condoms to avoid pregnancy get pregnant within 12 months. Mishell, D.R. (1989). “Contraception.” New England Journal of Medicine, 320(12), 777-787.

I saw my friend transform from a college-bound, carefree teenager to a single mother living from one welfare check to the next. Today, my friend can barely make ends meet, and her life is filled with regrets. “I love my little girl,” she told me. “But I wonder what my life would be like today if I had waited.”

In college, a close friend suffered from a nervous breakdown. In her room in the mental health unit at Sacred Heart Hospital in Eau Claire, Wisconsin, she told me that her eating disorder and her mental collapse were the result of an abortion she was pressured into three years earlier. “Every night as I lie in bed, I hear that little baby’s voice crying out to me,” she said through her tears. These are the faces behind the statistics of teen pregnancy.

As teens, we also hadn’t been informed about the ineffectiveness of condoms against certain prevalent diseases:

Condoms provide no protection against diseases passed through skin contact, including Human Papilloma Virus, the most prevalent STD in the United States, which infects more than 5 million Americans each year and is the leading cause of cervical cancer. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, National Institutes of Health, Department of Health and Human Services. Scientific Evidence on Condom Effectiveness for Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD)Prevention,2001.

Teens still suffer from this lack of information. After a presentation at a school in a small town, a freshman girl approached me, choking back tears. “I’m a virgin, but I have genital herpes,” she confided. “No one told me that you can get it just by touch.” Because she didn’t have intercourse, she thought that she was “safe.” She was unaware that some of the most common sexually transmitted diseases like herpes and HPV are passed through skin contact, which is how she contracted genital herpes. She said to me, “I’d be doing what you’re doing if I could. But I can’t. So I want you to tell my story wherever you go, so that others don’t make the same mistake I did.”

I often think about what would have happened if these young women had been given the complete facts before they engaged in premarital sex or other supposedly “safe” behaviors. Even if some of them would have made the same choices, shouldn’t they have been told the complete truth?

Their experiences compel me to speak out so that others don’t suffer the same pain and regret.

Giving the Facts; Opening Communication

Abstinence programs give young people the whole picture about the limits of “safe” sex, built upon this fundamental truth:

Abstinence is the only 100% effective way to avoid out-of-wedlock pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and emotional scars from premarital sex.

Effective abstinence programs also foster more open communication about the true issues behind sexuality and relationships. In my work, I have received questions on a wide range of issues, from how to say no to sex to why condoms are ineffective against genital herpes. Because of my openness in discussing abstinence, teens and college students respond with their personal stories and questions relating to issues such as sexual abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, unhealthy relationships, and emotional and psychological trauma from premarital sex.

The Far-Reaching Causes of Teen Sexual Activity

I have learned that the primary causes of teen sexual activity aren’t raging hormones or uncontrollable urges, as the media frequently portrays. Teens who are sexually active are usually searching for something – love, acceptance, identity, manliness, or a purpose to their lives.

One young woman told me, “Guys are my life. I know who I am based on how much they like me.”

A teen mother confided, “I wanted to get pregnant, because then I thought I’d be somebody, and there would always be someone there to love me.”

Abstinence goes to the heart of these issues, addressing identity, self-esteem, healthy relationships, character, and creating a positive vision for the future.

This is why programs like Project Reality’s Game Plan are so successful.

Game Plan, an eight-unit sports-themed abstinence program, helps teens to make healthy choices by addressing issues like peer pressure, self-worth, dating, drug and alcohol use, sexually transmitted diseases, marriage, and goal-setting in the context of creating a “game plan” for life. Students are taught that their choices today can have significant implications for their future, particularly as to whether and to what extent they will accomplish their goals and dreams in life. Game Plan replaces neediness with empowerment. Programs such as Game Plan arm students with life skills, courage and character, and give them the strength to make the right choices and make a positive difference in the world.

Premarital Sex: A Gateway to Other High-Risk Behaviors

The complex motivations for teen sexual activity are manifested in the link between sex and other high-risk behaviors:

Teens who are sexually-active are more likely to participate in other high-risk behaviors, like drug use, alcohol abuse, tobacco use and violence. Whitaker DJ, Miller KS, Clark LF. “Reconceptualizing adolescent sexual behavior: Beyond did they or didn’t they?” Family Planning Perspectives. 2000;32:111-117.

Conversely, teens who are abstinent are less likely to engage in these high-risk behaviors. Abstinence is a key link to combating the high-risk behaviors that plague our country’s teens.

After one presentation, a high school junior told me, “I’ve had sex with a lot of guys. But I’ve always been drunk, so I didn’t think it mattered.” She said, “Now I realize I gave each of them a beautiful part of myself. I’m not going to drink anymore, so I’m in control. I’m going to make a new beginning.”

Abstinence and the Beauty of Sex

Abstinence is not a rejection of sexuality as something bad. Rather, abstinence affirms that sexuality is something beautiful and precious, so beautiful that it is worth saving for the person who makes the public commitment to love you unconditionally for a lifetime in marriage.

The abstinence approach recognizes that human sexuality is not merely something physical, but involves a person emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and socially. Abstinence treats sex for what it is – part of the entire person. It is a holistic approach to human sexuality.

Making a New Beginning

Although the majority of American teens are virgins, many are not, and most of these non-virgins are dealing with regrets. (National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Not Just Another Thing to Do: Teens Talk about Sex, Regret, and the Influence of their Parents. June 30, 2000.) These students frequently appear to be the most resistant to the abstinence message, and many adults describe them as being teens who will “do it anyway.” In truth, these are young people crying out for help, and they are the ones most in need of the abstinence message.

During one presentation, a young woman sitting in the front row glared at me with her arms crossed. When I told the students at the beginning that I was there to share the facts with them but I couldn’t tell them what to do, she called out, “That’s right!” But when I began to speak about the emotional consequences of premarital sex, she started to cry. At the end of my presentation, she hugged me and thanked me for helping her “to take back her virginity.”

A young man approached me after one of my presentations for a program for troubled high school students. He said to me, “Your talk made me look at my life again. I need to stop having sex. I need to wait until marriage starting today.”

I’ve seen countless teens and young adults turn their lives around and embrace a secondary virginity. Regardless of their past choices, they need to know that their sexuality is still a beautiful gift, and that they are not trapped by the past. It’s never too late to make a new beginning.

A Message Desperately Needed

The empowering message of abstinence until marriage is not just for teens and young adults who are virgins; it is a message for all singles, regardless of past choices. Abstinence not only prevents teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and the emotional trauma that comes with premarital sex. Abstinence also gives young people greater self-worth, courage, and the life skills they need to succeed.

Abstinence programs don’t ask, “What’s merely good enough for America’s youth?” But instead, “What is the best we can give them?”

Your support for these programs will continue a message that is desperately needed. Your vote says to our youth, “Yes, I believe that you are worth waiting for, and that you can choose the best in your life.”

Let’s fan the flames of the New Sexual Revolution by giving teens and young adults the facts and the relationship skills they need to be abstinent until marriage. Their futures hold tremendous promise. In doing so, we empower all of America’s youth to live free of regrets and bring their special light to the world.

Conclusion

Your reauthorization of the funding for abstinence programs under the 1996 Welfare Reform Act will play a critical role in ensuring the continued education and encouragement of the youth of America to remain abstinent until marriage, attain self-sufficiency, and make a positive contribution to our society. The continued adoption of abstinence until marriage will serve as a critical means of helping to reduce out-of-wedlock pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and the other negative individual and societal consequences of premarital sex. It will also be a critical element that benefits society in the long run by helping to encourage the formation and maintenance of healthy marriages and two-parent families. Please let me know if you would like any further information about any of the points raised in my testimony today or if you have any other questions about this important issue.